|
Author
|
Topic: OT - new parent advice sought
|
UpNorth
Senior Member
Member # 2333
|
posted September 27, 2007 12:29 PM
My best friend and her husband are trying to start a family, so I wanted to make her a little book on "surviving parenthood" - mostly lighthearted, but some more serious advice too.
I am avoiding parenting sites, because I am not wanting to go the OCD-obsess-over-everything route, but I am trying to get ideas from lots of different types of people...
Any suggestions would be appreciated!
--------------------
When my [kid gets] wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When [he is] done, I get out
-Erma Bombeck
Posts: 601 | From: Up North | Registered: Nov 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
SamG
Senior Member
Member # 5446
|
posted September 27, 2007 01:00 PM
If you have a boy... when you're changing the diaper, make SURE you point the penis UP when putting the new diaper on.
It took us a week (and a LOT of wet clothes-- OURS) before someone told us this.
Posts: 1183 | Registered: Feb 2004
| IP: Logged
|
|
DoneThatToo
Senior Member
Member # 4060
|
posted September 27, 2007 01:06 PM
Sticking with the diaper theme.
Once solid food comes into play remember how you first thought . . "This isn't so bad."
--------------------
“I had a horse
Named Bad Luck
She weren't good lookin'
But she sure could buck
Yahoo hey hey
Yippee yi cy yey”
Posts: 1169 | From: Here, There and Everywhere | Registered: Aug 2003
| IP: Logged
|
|
Clever Login Name
Open Line Veteran
Member # 6236
|
posted September 27, 2007 01:30 PM
Give them a DVD of Bill Cosby's "Himself" routine. That pretty much covers everything from birth right on up to college and grandparenthood.
--------------------
Fred Thompson has released a comprehensive plan to save Social Security: Kill old hippies.
Posts: 4500 | From: Santa Poco, Mexico | Registered: May 2004
| IP: Logged
|
|
lucandor
Member
Member # 2770
|
posted September 27, 2007 01:37 PM
People freak out when it comes to parenting. I find... with a two year old daughter and a baby boy due in a week and a half... it's just not that complicated.
1. Hugs good.
2. Spanking bad.
3. Read to your kids.
4. When they get old enough to talk, teach them to say "Please" and "Thank you."
5. When your child is in the middle of a meltdown, it's probably because a) they need a new diaper b) They're hungry c) they're frustrated because you don't understand what's wrong with them.
6. Get used to watching the same shows over and over with your toddler. We've been watching "Finding Nemo" for 3 months now, with the occasional "Chicken Little." This follows the "Lion King" era, which followed the "Doodlebops" phase.
7. You know right from wrong. Teach your child that.
Oh, and a bit of practical advice. The "Diaper Genie" requires special "DG" liners. The "Diaper Champ" can use regular old kitchen trash bags. Save a few pennies.
And if you're buying a shower gift for new parents, a Gift Certificate to Blockbuster or a subscription to Netfix, because they probably won't be leaving the house much. At least if they don't have a lot of family around to babysit.
Posts: 459 | From: The Big City (for me) | Registered: Feb 2003
| IP: Logged
|
|
Signature on File
Open Line Veteran
Member # 6488
|
posted September 27, 2007 01:58 PM
If you are wanting to become a parent and have doubts whether it's right for you...I'd suggest "Rent-A-Kid" first. That way you can experience the whole experience without any long term commitments. We rented a boy for 6 months, then changed our minds, and decided a girl was easier.
www.rent-a-kid.com
Posts: 5477 | From: Zxracradia | Registered: Jun 2004
| IP: Logged
|
|
Clever Login Name
Open Line Veteran
Member # 6236
|
posted September 27, 2007 02:00 PM
Agreed. I leased a 16-year-old Filipino girl for a while and was very satisfied.
--------------------
Fred Thompson has released a comprehensive plan to save Social Security: Kill old hippies.
Posts: 4500 | From: Santa Poco, Mexico | Registered: May 2004
| IP: Logged
|
|
Sir Dropham Pants
Open Line Veteran
Member # 4433
|
posted September 27, 2007 02:16 PM
Sleep when you can. Never miss an opportunity to grab a quick nap. The single hardest thing for many new parents is surviving the sleep deprivation.
Remember that you are all they know. In the early years, everything important will come from you.
Don't forget to take time for each other. A new child can really mess with the spouse to spouse relations.
Along that same line, as they get older, make sure your door has a lock on it.
Posts: 1721 | Registered: Oct 2003
| IP: Logged
|
|
Tripe Face
Open Line Veteran
Member # 3328
|
posted September 27, 2007 02:31 PM
Don't bother teaching them to walk and talk... because soon enough all you'll want them to do is sit down and shut up!
Seriously, I use my mother's theory... Benign Neglect. Make sure they aren't doing anything that could cause them serious harm or cost you money then leave them alone, let them learn that life comes with problems they must overcome.
Do NOT keep quiet when they are napping or sleeping... you WANT them to learn how to sleep through normal household noise and commotion.
Do NOT scoop them out of the crib as soon as they make a peep... you WANT them to learn they can play by themselves for a few minutes until mommy is ready to get up for the day... or that sometimes it's easier to go back to sleep than to cry for attention.
Do NOT treat minor injuries as major catastrophies, they'll spend the next 18 years blowing each little scrape and bruise out of proportion.
Do NOT, repeat NOT introduce them to junk food until they'll learn to enjoy healthy unprocessed foods (ie... let them have carrots, apples, cool tap water, a chicken leg before they start eating fruit roll ups, twinkies, soda, or chicken nuggets.)
As mentioned above, read to them. A lot. Then later let them read to you.
Let them play outside, make it a reward for doing something well. Too many parents teach their kids that going outside is a form of punishment.
Always kiss them goodnight and tell them you love them... even if they are sound asleep, they'll hear you and know it's true. Then in the morning, start the day with a hug and another "love you" I've never heard of any adverse effects of a child hearing "I love you" too much.
All the above advice courtesy of a father who learned this the hard way... by not doing enough of the above and doing too many things wrong. But so far my kids haven't been convicted of any felonies. (I said CONVICTED. So FAR)
--------------------
"Tripe is getting far too much attention.
There will be no dealing with him soon." Writer2 11/9/07
Posts: 9684 | From: From the Student Section of Mountaineer Stadium | Registered: Jun 2003
| IP: Logged
|
|
Mom
Open Line Veteran
Member # 553
|
posted September 27, 2007 02:34 PM
Tell them not to knock themselves out to keep the baby's world super sanitized. A little dirt here and there is OK. The baby needs to be exposed to some germs to help build immunity.
A baby learns to walk better without shoes. Shoes on a baby that isn't walking yet are decorative only and can actually inhibit the kid's ability to learn to walk. My kids wore socks only until after they were both walking well.
NEVER put a baby to bed with a bottle (be it milk, juice or water). If they're bottle feeding, the parents should hold the bottle to the baby's mouth. When the baby is old enough to hold the bottle themselves, the parent should still hold the baby while he/she eats. In other words, don't hand a bottle to a baby or toddler and let them carry it around with them or lie down with it. It sets up really bad eating habits. It's important to establish that having a bottle is mealtime and mealtime alone.
I really encourage these new parents to learn basic sign language and teach it to their baby. There are enough studies to indicate that a baby will master sign quite well at a very early age and will use it to communicate needs and wants long before he/she learns to talk. It will help avoid those frustrating tantrums because you don't understand what baby wants. Because one of my children has Down syndrome and had delays in learning to talk anyway, we found the sign language was a wonderful bridge to communication.
I don't think there's anything wrong with a baby having a pacifier although I know that some are vehemently against it. I also don't think there's anything wrong with letting the baby/toddler determine when they're done with it. While I think it's OK to wean a baby off the binky (God, I hate that word) I would never take it from a toddler, never to give it back. That's just cruel.
The most important thing I would tell them is YOU CAN NOT HOLD/HUG A BABY TOO MUCH. It does not make them more dependent or turn them into wusses or make them "soft." Holding a baby makes them feel loved and secure. Tyring to toughen them up by leaving them to scream alone in an empty room is also cruel.
Edited to ammend the above by agreeing with Tripe that it is OK to leave the baby alone to cry for a period of time when you're teaching them to put themselves to sleep. But you also don't want the child to fall asleep because they're so exhausted from screaming and crying. That will make bedtime the next night all the more traumatic for everyone. There's no set rule about bedtime procedures. They'll figure out what works best for them.
The reason why I feel strongly about holding/hugging a baby a lot is because I've met/experienced many an older woman saying, "Put that baby down. You're just spoiling him/her." No, you're not. You're loving your child and no parent should be made to feel guilty for showering love on a child.
[ September 27, 2007, 02:40 PM: Message edited by: Mom ]
Posts: 1855 | From: south | Registered: Jun 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
lucandor
Member
Member # 2770
|
posted September 27, 2007 02:46 PM
Oh, I thought of another one. Learn how to swaddle your infant. (some call it the baby burrito.) It wraps them tight, keeps them warm and simulates what it was like in the womb.
They'll fall asleep much easier when swaddled.
Also, look into "The Happiest Baby on the Block" by Harvey Karp. You'll learn about "Swaddling" and "SHHHHHing" a loud "SHHHHHH" (think white noise) in a babies ear during a tantrum will make them think they're in the womb.
A little creepy, but it makes sense. Trust me. Swaddle and SHHHH.
--------------------
Lucandor
Reporter: "How did you find America?"
John: "Turned left at Greenland."
Posts: 459 | From: The Big City (for me) | Registered: Feb 2003
| IP: Logged
|
|
SamG
Senior Member
Member # 5446
|
posted September 27, 2007 02:50 PM
I disagree with Mom. I've seen kids ages 3, 4, even 5 STILL with a pacifier. That can't be good for the teeth, speech, or psych.
Our oldest didn't really use one, but our two youngest did. When they hit 1... and I mean within two days of the first birthday... that "paci" went "bye-bye".
Posts: 1183 | Registered: Feb 2004
| IP: Logged
|
|
bride
Senior Member
Member # 5877
|
posted September 27, 2007 03:06 PM
I tried to breastfeed my first son for a week. The doctors/nurses never told me that he may not be getting what he needs, if you're having trouble breast feeding. He ended up with jaundice. I was pretty pissed.
Tell your friends to learn how to swaddle. Babies loved to be swaddled, and it can help with colic, although nothing really solves it.
Tell them not to be surprised if their child develops thrush, cradle cap, and/or baby acne. Tell them to get a good book with summaries on all of these baby afflictions, so if they encounter a symptom they know what it is.
Finally, tell your friends not to assume that their pediatrician is going to know the answer all of the time, or even half of the time. Our son has been misdiagnosed MANY times over the years, at the peds office and even at the emergency room. You often have to ask advice from friends and even do some self-diagnosis. You may also have to suggest treatments and medications to the doctors. If your child is very sick and the nurse on the phone keeps telling you to simply keep him/her hydrated and comfortable, YOU be the judge. Take the child to the ER if that's what your gut tells you.
--------------------
"I marvel at it all the time. I'm the luckiest cat in the world."
- Hugh Hefner
Posts: 1483 | From: Far away | Registered: Apr 2004
| IP: Logged
|
|
Mr. Rugen
Open Line Veteran
Member # 3056
|
posted September 27, 2007 03:13 PM
Get them a copy of "The Baby Whisperer". I buy it for all my friends that are having babies. It's very useful.
--------------------
The First Year Teacher Blog
Posts: 6791 | From: The Machine | Registered: Apr 2003
| IP: Logged
|
|
rawhead rex
Senior Member
Member # 12152
|
posted September 27, 2007 03:35 PM
a drop of peppermint oil on the tip of the tongue is said to settle colic.
Posts: 1357 | From: oklahoma city | Registered: Nov 2006
| IP: Logged
|
|
Aholeindhead
Member
Member # 6800
|
posted September 27, 2007 04:33 PM
Put a clock that you can hear the ticking from near the baby's bed. It simulates the mothers heartbeat in the womb.
--------------------
The glass is neither half empty nor half full. It's half way to the next!
Posts: 287 | From: Woodstock | Registered: Aug 2004
| IP: Logged
|
|
Major Woody
Member
Member # 15627
|
posted September 27, 2007 04:41 PM
quote:
Originally posted by SamG:
If you have a boy... when you're changing the diaper, make SURE you point the penis UP when putting the new diaper on.
My penis was born "UP"
Posts: 250 | From: East Coast | Registered: Jul 2007
| IP: Logged
|
|
ZuZu's Petals
Open Line Veteran
Member # 2719
|
posted September 27, 2007 11:02 PM
Teach them independence... or more accurately, that they can handle those things that they are able to handle.
In college, my best friend was bewildered by my self confidence. Not cocky... just that I was unafraid about asking a question in a packed lecture hall. All our other friends were terrified of the thought of it. She asked me what my parents did to give me confidence. So I asked my mom.
The first example she could think of was that she remembered peeking into my room to check on me during naptime... I must have been 6- 8mos... because I was sitting up trying to reach the blanket at my feet. Standing in the doorway, Mom thought "I could get the blanket for her and tuck her in nice and snug. Or I can let her get it herself."
She let me do it myself.
I figure if that's just one example... think of the other things that she let me learn I could accomplish on my own. Holding my own glass. Dressing myself, and so on.
Too many parents today cripple their children by hovering over them, refusing to let them learn by failure, or gain the confidence of knowing they can do it!
Posts: 1898 | From: 5280 | Registered: Feb 2003
| IP: Logged
|
|
hoosiergirl
Member
Member # 5358
|
posted September 28, 2007 03:44 AM
This is bringing back some nice memories of those baby years!
Yes, hovering is bad. It's turning kids into wussies, I see it every day on the playground. A kid trips and the mom is freaking out running for them. My kid just gets up and moves on. As long as it won't kill them, leave them be.
Ok my advice for babies...
1) Put them to sleep awake. This was the best advice I ever got and we NEVER had a sleeping issue. This teaches baby how to get to bed on her own.
2) You cannot spoil a newborn. After 12 months or so, you can (IMHO).
3) When it's time for real foods, do the veggies first, like peas...not fruit. They'll say "screw the peas give me the bananas" if you do.
4) When they're about 1 1/2 or 2 have them start putting their dirty clothes in the hamper. This was my son's first chore. The road to independence!
5) Parenting is a battle of wills. You must have incredible patience, it will serve you well. Remember, the moment you give in, that is the behavior you are rewarding.
They are in for the ride of their lives. They have no idea how much they're going to love that little bugger!
Posts: 244 | Registered: Jan 2004
| IP: Logged
|
|
DoneThatToo
Senior Member
Member # 4060
|
posted September 28, 2007 05:33 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Aholeindhead:
Put a clock that you can hear the ticking from near the baby's bed. It simulates the mothers heartbeat in the womb.
Works well with puppies too!
--------------------
“I had a horse
Named Bad Luck
She weren't good lookin'
But she sure could buck
Yahoo hey hey
Yippee yi cy yey”
Posts: 1169 | From: Here, There and Everywhere | Registered: Aug 2003
| IP: Logged
|
|
TAFKA wacowx
Open Line Veteran
Member # 2671
|
posted September 28, 2007 06:39 AM
quote:
Originally posted by SamG:
If you have a boy... when you're changing the diaper, make SURE you point the penis UP when putting the new diaper on.
It took us a week (and a LOT of wet clothes-- OURS) before someone told us this.
![[Confused]](confused.gif) Doesn't this just let the urine potentially spray out of the front of the diaper? We actually make sure to point our boy's down to provide more contact with the 'meat' of the diaper. When we forget and it is pointing up, that is when we have problems. He's 6 weeks old now, so we are still in that newborn timeframe.
The only time we have wet clothes is from spray when the diaper is off. ![[Shifty]](graemlins/eusa_shifty.gif)
Back to the topic: NAPS and breastfeeding if at all possible. It gives the baby a head start on a healthy life with antibodies tranferred from Mommy and potentially fewer allegies too.
If breastfeeding is your choice, Daddy needs to be involved as much as possible, if only changing the diaper before a nighttime feeding or taking care of baby while Mommy takes a break from what is essentially her 24-hour-a-day care of baby (even with a working mom, she's still pumping at work for the baby...etc.) I get up with my wife pretty much every time so in a small way I share the load...certainly not truly, but just being ther to help, make sure she has water, a snack, a burp cloth, etc. seems to help her feel much better and makes for a happy mommy. ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
Posts: 6131 | From: Houston, TX | Registered: Jan 2003
| IP: Logged
|
|
TAFKA wacowx
Open Line Veteran
Member # 2671
|
posted September 28, 2007 07:40 AM
quote:
Originally posted by hoosiergirl:
1) Put them to sleep awake. This was the best advice I ever got and we NEVER had a sleeping issue. This teaches baby how to get to bed on her own.
2) You cannot spoil a newborn. After 12 months or so, you can (IMHO).
How does ignoring their cries when they refuse to go to sleep without some sort of calming and soothing from a parent jibe with point 2?
If we followed this advice with our son (and I am not saying it may not have worked for you) he wouldn't fall asleep until he became exhausted from crying and screaming.
I would love to be able to put him to sleep awake, but he just refuses unless soothed to sleep. If you have any tips, I'd love to hear them.
Posts: 6131 | From: Houston, TX | Registered: Jan 2003
| IP: Logged
|
|
TV Dad
Senior Member
Member # 1505
|
posted September 28, 2007 07:45 AM
As your child approaches his/her teenage years, book a trip to Alaska, put them out on the ice to be eaten by polar bears, then go home and have more kids. Your life will be much easier.
Posts: 1284 | From: Oklahoma City, Oklahoma | Registered: Mar 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
SamG
Senior Member
Member # 5446
|
posted September 28, 2007 09:04 AM
quote:
Originally posted by The Artist Formerly Known as wacowx:
quote:
Originally posted by SamG:
If you have a boy... when you're changing the diaper, make SURE you point the penis UP when putting the new diaper on.
It took us a week (and a LOT of wet clothes-- OURS) before someone told us this.
Doesn't this just let the urine potentially spray out of the front of the diaper? We actually make sure to point our boy's down to provide more contact with the 'meat' of the diaper. When we forget and it is pointing up, that is when we have problems. He's 6 weeks old now, so we are still in that newborn timeframe.
The only time we have wet clothes is from spray when the diaper is off.
Back to the topic: NAPS and breastfeeding if at all possible. It gives the baby a head start on a healthy life with antibodies tranferred from Mommy and potentially fewer allegies too.
If breastfeeding is your choice, Daddy needs to be involved as much as possible, if only changing the diaper before a nighttime feeding or taking care of baby while Mommy takes a break from what is essentially her 24-hour-a-day care of baby (even with a working mom, she's still pumping at work for the baby...etc.) I get up with my wife pretty much every time so in a small way I share the load...certainly not truly, but just being ther to help, make sure she has water, a snack, a burp cloth, etc. seems to help her feel much better and makes for a happy mommy.
I think this is only for the first couple weeks, maybe a month. All I know is the diapers leaked all over the place (they don't exactly fit well early on), but once we were told about "pointing up", the leaks stopped.
![[loveyou]](graemlins/iloveyou.gif)
Posts: 1183 | Registered: Feb 2004
| IP: Logged
|
|
TopRamen
Member
Member # 10320
|
posted September 28, 2007 10:13 AM
I am really enjoying this thread. I am expecting my first now and am bubbling over with excitement, but sometimes emotionally retreating in fear. This is great advice!
--------------------
Machiavelli: "He who is willing to deceive shall never fail in finding willing dupes."
Posts: 208 | From: Heartland | Registered: Jun 2006
| IP: Logged
|
|
SamG
Senior Member
Member # 5446
|
posted September 28, 2007 04:34 PM
#1 above all... husbands listen to your wives! Mine just corrected me on the "point up" tip... it should be "down". ![[Doh]](graemlins/eusa_doh.gif)
Oh, another tip... when you're "done" having kids, don't hesitate to take steps to make SURE you're done having kids! Delaying too long can bring about another kid. ![[Whistle]](graemlins/eusa_whistle.gif)
Posts: 1183 | Registered: Feb 2004
| IP: Logged
|
|
Signature on File
Open Line Veteran
Member # 6488
|
posted September 28, 2007 04:37 PM
Don't forget to get him circumcised. You need to do it before he's fifteen.
--------------------
Steve Fossett has just set a new record. Winner of the 2007 Nevada "Hide & Seek" Championship.
Posts: 5477 | From: Zxracradia | Registered: Jun 2004
| IP: Logged
|
|
s'news
Open Line Veteran
Member # 2664
|
posted September 28, 2007 08:24 PM
Do not allow whining and complaining to be something you must reply to.
Posts: 14269 | From: Houston | Registered: Jan 2003
| IP: Logged
|
|
TAFKA wacowx
Open Line Veteran
Member # 2671
|
posted September 29, 2007 02:06 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Signature on File:
Don't forget to get him circumcised. You need to do it before he's fifteen.
I'm assuming this is a double joke...males don't NEED to be circumcised...it's a preference thing and that's all...and there is certainly no time limit. Our boy isn't circumcised because we reasearched and found no compelling reason to have it done.
If he wants it done later in life, he can have it done, but you can't undo it.
Posts: 6131 | From: Houston, TX | Registered: Jan 2003
| IP: Logged
|
|
Lazlo Toth
Open Line Veteran
Member # 4867
|
posted September 29, 2007 02:18 AM
When you potty train them, don't use Tootsie Rolls as a reward. It just confuses them.
Realize that your ultimate role is to be the person they will blame later on in therapy. It frees you up to relax and realize they're going to think you screwed up no matter how well you parent them.
Instill guilt and shame. It allows you to send them out into the world on their own less likely they'll do bad things.
When you want to kill them, remember someone must survive to take care of you in your old age. So be nice. Eventually, they will pick the nursing home.
--------------------
Nowhere are prejudices more mistaken for truth, passion for reason, and invective for documentation than in politics. This a realm, peopled only by villains or heroes, in which everything is black or white and gray is a forbidden color.
-- John Mason Brown, Through These Men (1956)
Posts: 7959 | From: SF Bay Area | Registered: Nov 2003
| IP: Logged
|
|
Lazlo Toth
Open Line Veteran
Member # 4867
|
posted September 29, 2007 02:35 AM
Serious advice:
Everyday, look for ways in which your children are delightful. Tell them often they are delightful.
Tell them everyday that you love them.
Teach them humor. There are too many people in the world who don't get the joke.
Have a plan with your spouse/partner that he/she steps in when your level of frustration gets too high. Do the same for him/her. This too shall pass.
I second the part about being independant. It is likely you successfully completed school. There's no need for you to do it again through your child.
--------------------
Nowhere are prejudices more mistaken for truth, passion for reason, and invective for documentation than in politics. This a realm, peopled only by villains or heroes, in which everything is black or white and gray is a forbidden color.
-- John Mason Brown, Through These Men (1956)
Posts: 7959 | From: SF Bay Area | Registered: Nov 2003
| IP: Logged
|
|
hoosiergirl
Member
Member # 5358
|
posted September 29, 2007 02:21 PM
quote:
Originally posted by The Artist Formerly Known as wacowx:
quote:
Originally posted by hoosiergirl:
1) Put them to sleep awake. This was the best advice I ever got and we NEVER had a sleeping issue. This teaches baby how to get to bed on her own.
2) You cannot spoil a newborn. After 12 months or so, you can (IMHO).
How does ignoring their cries when they refuse to go to sleep without some sort of calming and soothing from a parent jibe with point 2?
If we followed this advice with our son (and I am not saying it may not have worked for you) he wouldn't fall asleep until he became exhausted from crying and screaming.
I would love to be able to put him to sleep awake, but he just refuses unless soothed to sleep. If you have any tips, I'd love to hear them.
I'm sorry, I should have posted that if you have a chilled out baby, this works. Mine never screamed his lungs out. Maybe cried a little, but not much. I'd give him his last bottle and he'd pass out, so I'd gently wake him up to burp him and put him in his burrito and off to bed. I should have explained better.
Edited to add: If you start rocking them to sleep, be prepared to be rocking a 4 year old! ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
[ September 29, 2007, 02:24 PM: Message edited by: hoosiergirl ]
Posts: 244 | Registered: Jan 2004
| IP: Logged
|
|
UpNorth
Senior Member
Member # 2333
|
posted October 01, 2007 12:26 PM
wonderful! Thanks! Just have to figure out how I'm going to put it all together...
TopRamen - CONGRATS! Something Jami (my hopes-to-be expecting friend) told me about my son: you can't protect them from everything and you'll make yourself crazy if you try to do so.
Trust your instincts.
If the neighbor turns your heat up to 80 and insists that your baby needs to have on a onesy and a sleeper, don't buy it (that actually happened) and feel free to say so.
--------------------
When my [kid gets] wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When [he is] done, I get out
-Erma Bombeck
Posts: 601 | From: Up North | Registered: Nov 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
sportzchick
Senior Member
Member # 1941
|
posted October 01, 2007 01:21 PM
Having a 2 year old and a now 3 month old i can offer a few things. (much has been said already so I'll try not to repeat things)
For the mom to be:
Don't give up on breastfeeding... as much as it may hurt at 1st...and as draining as it may be... give it time.
My 1st took to the breast right away... #2 required the use of a nipple shield (which was a big fat pain in the arse) for the 1st six weeks... at week 6 BAM!...she figured out how to take the breast on her own. DON'T GIVE UP! Sometimes they just need a little time to mature.
Go visit lactation specialists if you need to. They were my saviors! (i know.. i said breast and nipple in this post)
Dad to be: Be there for your wife as much as possible in the first few weeks (i'd say 6 if she has a c-section) When it is time to feed in the middle of the night...offer to get the baby and put the baby back to bed when she/he is done feeding.
My husband did this most nights and it is a wonderful gesture and a big help.
When baby cries during the first few weeks... give them your attention. Ours was fussy due to reflux... so she was more work than the 1st kid... but we just kept thinking... "this too will pass" and it did.
I believe that she just needed time to mature.
I think after 3 months is when they can start to learn to cry themselves to sleep without feeling abandoned. You should be able to decipher the "tired" cry from the hungry/dirty cry by this time.
Write down funny things they do and say as they grow up...this way you can look back and share funny stories with them. Our little boy now says "snakes on a plane" in a funny raspy/scary voice and it cracks us up. He calls pencils I-Oh's (we don't know why) Ice cream is mimi... and pizza is hatah. Everything associated with water (ocean/lake/tub) is a pool. Grandma is hamah and grandpa is popbop.
Take joy in the little things like when they recite the alphabet and W comes out sounding like rubiddoo or something like it.
When they count to 5 for the 1st time you'll nearly cry due to the cuteness.
Take lots of pictures
Take lots of video
Play outside with them as much as possible.
Tell them broccoli are little "trees" and they'll have fun eating them.
We have a night time routine where we both (if available) will go up and say good night and I love you to our boy before putting him down.
This way he knows that when we do this it is time for night-night and the last thing he hears is that we love him.
Oh and one last thing we learned on our 6 hour flight to Maui this past week... DON'T put your 2 year old kid in a car seat on the plane. It allowed his feet to reach the back of the seat in front of him. Someone told us we HAD to have him in a car seat (wrong) and we found he did so much better just sitting in the plane seat. The ride home was SO much better. It also probably helped that we flew through the night on our return. Both kids slept the entire 8 hours on a plane!
[ October 01, 2007, 01:29 PM: Message edited by: sportzchick ]
--------------------
"I'm a woman! We don't say what we WANT! But we reserve the right to get pissed off if we don't get it. That's what makes us so fascinating! And not a little bit scary."
Posts: 1144 | From: heaven | Registered: Aug 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
SamG
Senior Member
Member # 5446
|
posted October 01, 2007 01:48 PM
quote:
Originally posted by sportzchick:
Oh and one last thing we learned on our 6 hour flight to Maui this past week... DON'T put your 2 year old kid in a car seat on the plane. It allowed his feet to reach the back of the seat in front of him. Someone told us we HAD to have him in a car seat (wrong) and we found he did so much better just sitting in the plane seat. The ride home was SO much better. It also probably helped that we flew through the night on our return. Both kids slept the entire 8 hours on a plane!
You have good ideas, but I want to argue this point... this is a prime "all kids are different" situation. Some kids might feel better in a car seat (because it's familiar), and others could be fine in the normal airline seat. This can differ with kids in the same family.
Posts: 1183 | Registered: Feb 2004
| IP: Logged
|
|
sportzchick
Senior Member
Member # 1941
|
posted October 01, 2007 02:05 PM
I agree... and our is kid is usually more comfortable in his car seat and can fall asleep just fine while sitting in it.
It was the "being able to reach the back of the seat in front of him with his feet" part that was the issue.
We told him to not kick or press on the seat... but you know how that can go with a two year old.
--------------------
"I'm a woman! We don't say what we WANT! But we reserve the right to get pissed off if we don't get it. That's what makes us so fascinating! And not a little bit scary."
Posts: 1144 | From: heaven | Registered: Aug 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
rootboyslim
Open Line Veteran
Member # 706
|
posted October 01, 2007 02:05 PM
My dad was a pediatrician and had some pretty solid advice, while it goes against what mom had said earlier: always get your child on a schedule from day one. Feeding time the same and bedtime the same each day.
And when changing a boy, put a cloth diaper over his peeper to avoid spillage.
If you can breast feed do it. There is no reason not to. That's what the boobs are for. No whining about it. Suck it up---literally. It is much healthier for the baby. Babies sometimes get jaundice and that's the way it is. Put him'her in the sunlight through the window for a little bit to avoid it. Not sure that breast feeding has naything to do with jaundice, but could be wrong. It takes some time to get the milk in. It will save you tons of cash in the long run. My heroic wife breastfed the twins for a year. She is/was awesome. I would come home and see her with one child on each boob resting on a wraparound pillow, while eating ice cream and talking on the phone. Both knees were up for support as she slouched on the couch. It was so impressive.
--------------------
It's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care!
FEAR THE TURTLE!
GO TERPS!
Posts: 9615 | From: Southeast, USA | Registered: Aug 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
rootboyslim
Open Line Veteran
Member # 706
|
posted October 01, 2007 02:08 PM
quote:
Originally posted by bride:
I tried to breastfeed my first son for a week. The doctors/nurses never told me that he may not be getting what he needs, if you're having trouble breast feeding. He ended up with jaundice. I was pretty pissed.
.
There are two types of jaundice that are related to breast-feeding. They are called breast-feeding jaundice and breast milk jaundice. Breast-feeding jaundice is a jaundice that may occur in the first week of life in breast-fed infants. 13% of breast-fed babies will develop jaundice in the first week of life (Nelson Textbook of Pediatrics, WB Saunders, 2000). The cause of breast-feeding jaundice is thought to be due to decreased milk intake leading to dehydration or low caloric intake. The incidence of breast-feeding jaundice may be reduced by increasing the frequency of feeding and not using too much water to replace breast milk (Nelson Textbook of Pediatrics, WB Saunders, 2000).]
Breast milk jaundice is far less common, occurring in about 1 in 200 babies. Here the jaundice is often not visible until the baby is a week old and then reaches its peak during the second or third week. Breast milk jaundice can be caused either by enzymes in mom's milk that deactivate the baby's enzyme for dealing with bilirubin or by fatty acids in mom's milk that the baby processes as a priority over processing the bilirubin.
Whichever the cause of breast milk jaundice, if the mother continues to nurse her baby, the jaundice will decrease and disappear on its own, but this may take 3 to 10 weeks. If the mother stops nursing for 1 or 2 days, substituting formula, the bilirubin levels will drop rapidly. They will not rise again when the nursing is resumed.
Permanent damage or ill effects from breast milk jaundice is extremely rare. Phototherapy (lights used to lower bilirubin) may be used if the level of bilirubin is above 20 mg/dL. In breast milk jaundice, stopping breast milk for 1 to 2 days can help the bilirubin level drop rapidly. However, pediatricians and neonatologists generally agree that most babies who are well enough to feed may continue to feed on breast milk. This is true even when the bilirubin level is high enough to require phototherapy.
Alan Greene MD FAAP
--------------------
It's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care!
FEAR THE TURTLE!
GO TERPS!
Posts: 9615 | From: Southeast, USA | Registered: Aug 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Tripe Face
Open Line Veteran
Member # 3328
|
posted October 01, 2007 02:25 PM
quote:
Originally posted by DoneThatToo:
quote:
Originally posted by Aholeindhead:
Put a clock that you can hear the ticking from near the baby's bed. It simulates the mothers heartbeat in the womb.
Works well with puppies too!
You mean we are supposed to put a puppy near the bed to simulate mom's heartbeat in the womb. By the way, mom's heartbeat isn't in the womb... it's in the wallet.
Posts: 9684 | From: From the Student Section of Mountaineer Stadium | Registered: Jun 2003
| IP: Logged
|
|
Tripe Face
Open Line Veteran
Member # 3328
|
posted October 01, 2007 02:28 PM
quote:
Originally posted by U of Md Terps--Let's go Maryland:
My dad was a pediatrician and had some pretty solid advice, while it goes against what mom had said earlier: always get your child on a schedule from day one. Feeding time the same and bedtime the same each day.
And when changing a boy, put a cloth diaper over his peeper to avoid spillage.
If you can breast feed do it. There is no reason not to. That's what the boobs are for. No whining about it. Suck it up---literally. It is much healthier for the baby. Babies sometimes get jaundice and that's the way it is. Put him'her in the sunlight through the window for a little bit to avoid it. Not sure that breast feeding has naything to do with jaundice, but could be wrong. It takes some time to get the milk in. It will save you tons of cash in the long run. My heroic wife breastfed the twins for a year. She is/was awesome. I would come home and see her with one child on each boob resting on a wraparound pillow, while eating ice cream and talking on the phone. Both knees were up for support as she slouched on the couch. It was so impressive.
She never did thank me for the ice cream. But that's cool, she was a busy lady back then.
--------------------
"Tripe is getting far too much attention.
There will be no dealing with him soon." Writer2 11/9/07
Posts: 9684 | From: From the Student Section of Mountaineer Stadium | Registered: Jun 2003
| IP: Logged
|
|
|
UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!
Printer-friendly view of this topic
